yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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