...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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