Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
