ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
