i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
