When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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