saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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