Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
