Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
