There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
