Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
this just has baby written all over it
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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