Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
