so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize