I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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