the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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