Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
