8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
