Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He did a backflip because drugs
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
