just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Randomize
