no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
