He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It's rum buckets o'clock
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
