Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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