Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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