I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
what day is it and did you see me today?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
