I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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