bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
