She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
not ubering you a puppy
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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