Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We have started to decorate penises.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
