woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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