They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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