If i come over, it means nothing
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
