So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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