didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
