It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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