you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
