I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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