god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
