How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
