four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
