6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
