I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize