So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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