so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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