You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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