Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
