Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
third nipple confirmed
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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