but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
