He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
