You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
