You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
