No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
