): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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