Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
