my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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