Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
