Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
