Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
