I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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