In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I am naked and annoyed.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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