areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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