he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
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