I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
