I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Randomize
