Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
