I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
