we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
