What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
