I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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