What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
