I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Randomize
